How should I kill/dispose of my fellow dorm mates?

the guardian · Post by **the guardian** » Thu Aug 28, 2003 10:35 pm

Whatever way you feel like.

Cut him

Feed him poison

Shoot him

Disembowel him with a chainsaw

Strangle him

hit him with a blunt object

Pick your fucking pick, but do it and do it fast.

Viktor · Post by **Viktor** » Thu Aug 28, 2003 11:37 pm

Wolfman Walt wrote:I've been kept up till 2:30-5 AM every morning by guys singing christian music and yelling out "Ow my butthole." So naturally murder seems like the next logical step to get them to shut up. However, I need some help deciding exactly how I should do it.

How about slipping them Rohypnol, taking them out into the boonies and film them being ass raped by raccoons or the woodland creature of your choice?

Then, whenever they keep you up singing, just move your TV and VCR over to window and show the whole street/dorm that Rocky and Bullwinkle made the God Squad their bitches for the evening??

Alphawulf · Post by **Alphawulf** » Thu Aug 28, 2003 11:39 pm

I say that you don't kill them because then you'd go to jail for life, or get the death penalty. Just ignore them. (everyone knows no one's gonna actually kill anyone)

Inin · Post by **Inin** » Fri Aug 29, 2003 12:15 am

If you know a chemist, get him to whip you up a small batch of putrescine. The smell of death. Put it in a small glass vial that'll break if thrown. Next time they make too much noise, knock then fling the vial into their midst when they open the door.

Problem solved.

-Inin

Walks with the Snails · Fri Aug 29, 2003 12:22 am

I was going to kill my dormmate once, but the little pansy bailed on me at the end of winter semester after I was a steady jackass to him. So I got a room all to myself the next spring. It was nice.

If you can't wait, I think I'd probably just get them a little tipsy, talk about how nice the view is on the roof of a nearby four-story building, then push them over once you get them there. There were like 5 people who committed suicide at my university when I was there by jumping off buildings in the middle of the night - no one would suspect a thing. Plus, you get to look at the neat splatter pattern.

Jawz II · Post by **Jawz II** » Fri Aug 29, 2003 9:31 am

wait i just that spam pic,u mean to tell me u all dont have spam keys anymore?

HAH!

i pity u americans!

Aegeri · Post by **Aegeri** » Sat Aug 30, 2003 6:48 am

The problem with many of the poison them plans is arsenic and the like last a long time in their system. Any half decent toxicologist will pick up on the fact they have been poisoned and probably over a prolonged period of time.

They would then start looking for a potential source...you'd have to get rid of that rat arsenic really well.

Megatron · Post by **Megatron** » Sat Aug 30, 2003 7:49 am

you could stick a syringe in there ear and give them a nice big dose of oxygen. Or mabye put a long needle into there ear an scramble there brains so it looks like they had an accident?

satanisgreat · Post by **satanisgreat** » Sat Aug 30, 2003 7:53 am

What you do is construct some kind of gun that shoots icicles. Then you shoot him with it. No fingerprints, no traces, the evidence melts...

Megatron · Post by **Megatron** » Sat Aug 30, 2003 8:00 am

or you could just buy a desert eagle and kill him to death

the guardian · Post by **the guardian** » Sat Aug 30, 2003 8:45 am

Aegeri wrote:The problem with many of the poison them plans is arsenic and the like last a long time in their system. Any half decent toxicologist will pick up on the fact they have been poisoned and probably over a prolonged period of time.

They would then start looking for a potential source...you'd have to get rid of that rat arsenic really well.

True, but you could always intoxicate him with alcohol 'till he passes out, then put him in his car and leak in CO.

No one would suspect.

Ghetto Goose · Post by **Ghetto Goose** » Sat Aug 30, 2003 1:19 pm

No no no, here's what you do, wake up early and light some cinna-bun scented inscense sticks, and have them awake to false hopes.

Sol Invictus · Post by **Sol Invictus** » Sat Aug 30, 2003 3:43 pm

Ghetto Goose wrote:No no no, here's what you do, wake up early and light some cinna-bun scented inscense sticks, and have them awake to false hopes.

That is the funniest thing you have said - ever.

Bloodgeon11 · Post by **Bloodgeon11** » Sat Aug 30, 2003 11:04 pm

Not exactly high standards, though...

InvisibleMonkey · Post by **InvisibleMonkey** » Sat Aug 30, 2003 11:09 pm

Change all of the locks on the doors. I know that is not killing them, but it is funny.

scotch · Post by **scotch** » Sun Aug 31, 2003 1:15 am

Spike several beverages with Valium or Xanax. When they are no longer among the wakeful, chill them. Like just above hypothermia, for several days (to let the drug metabolize out). Then chill them beyond hypothermia. Dispose of them at a nearby crosswalk and let the coroner figure it out as best as can be managed.

Or not.

InvisibleMonkey · Post by **InvisibleMonkey** » Sun Aug 31, 2003 1:17 am

You've done this before haven't you....

scotch · Post by **scotch** » Sun Aug 31, 2003 1:18 am

InvisibleMonkey wrote:You've done this before haven't you....

Uh. Maybe.

InvisibleMonkey · Post by **InvisibleMonkey** » Sun Aug 31, 2003 1:27 am

That is a scary thought.

I suggest you go Mad Max on them and handcuff them to a car that has gasoline leaking and then you get a bowl or something and put it under the gas leak and then put a lighter under it, not right under it but enough to make it get hot after a while and then give one of them a hacksaw and then say "The chain on those handcuffs is high intensive steal, it'll take you 10 minutes to hack through it with this, if your lucky you can hack through your ankle in 5" and then drive off.

Duck and Cover

How should I kill/dispose of my fellow dorm mates?

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