How should I kill/dispose of my fellow dorm mates?
- the guardian
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Re: How should I kill/dispose of my fellow dorm mates?
How about slipping them Rohypnol, taking them out into the boonies and film them being ass raped by raccoons or the woodland creature of your choice?Wolfman Walt wrote:I've been kept up till 2:30-5 AM every morning by guys singing christian music and yelling out "Ow my butthole." So naturally murder seems like the next logical step to get them to shut up. However, I need some help deciding exactly how I should do it.
Then, whenever they keep you up singing, just move your TV and VCR over to window and show the whole street/dorm that Rocky and Bullwinkle made the God Squad their bitches for the evening??
I say that you don't kill them because then you'd go to jail for life, or get the death penalty. Just ignore them. (everyone knows no one's gonna actually kill anyone)
Last edited by Alphawulf on Sat Aug 30, 2003 6:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.
If you know a chemist, get him to whip you up a small batch of putrescine. The smell of death. Put it in a small glass vial that'll break if thrown. Next time they make too much noise, knock then fling the vial into their midst when they open the door.
Problem solved.
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I was going to kill my dormmate once, but the little pansy bailed on me at the end of winter semester after I was a steady jackass to him. So I got a room all to myself the next spring. It was nice.
If you can't wait, I think I'd probably just get them a little tipsy, talk about how nice the view is on the roof of a nearby four-story building, then push them over once you get them there. There were like 5 people who committed suicide at my university when I was there by jumping off buildings in the middle of the night - no one would suspect a thing. Plus, you get to look at the neat splatter pattern.
If you can't wait, I think I'd probably just get them a little tipsy, talk about how nice the view is on the roof of a nearby four-story building, then push them over once you get them there. There were like 5 people who committed suicide at my university when I was there by jumping off buildings in the middle of the night - no one would suspect a thing. Plus, you get to look at the neat splatter pattern.
The problem with many of the poison them plans is arsenic and the like last a long time in their system. Any half decent toxicologist will pick up on the fact they have been poisoned and probably over a prolonged period of time.
They would then start looking for a potential source...you'd have to get rid of that rat arsenic really well.
They would then start looking for a potential source...you'd have to get rid of that rat arsenic really well.
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True, but you could always intoxicate him with alcohol 'till he passes out, then put him in his car and leak in CO.Aegeri wrote:The problem with many of the poison them plans is arsenic and the like last a long time in their system. Any half decent toxicologist will pick up on the fact they have been poisoned and probably over a prolonged period of time.
They would then start looking for a potential source...you'd have to get rid of that rat arsenic really well.
No one would suspect.
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Not exactly high standards, though...
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Spike several beverages with Valium or Xanax. When they are no longer among the wakeful, chill them. Like just above hypothermia, for several days (to let the drug metabolize out). Then chill them beyond hypothermia. Dispose of them at a nearby crosswalk and let the coroner figure it out as best as can be managed.
Or not.
Or not.
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That is a scary thought.
I suggest you go Mad Max on them and handcuff them to a car that has gasoline leaking and then you get a bowl or something and put it under the gas leak and then put a lighter under it, not right under it but enough to make it get hot after a while and then give one of them a hacksaw and then say "The chain on those handcuffs is high intensive steal, it'll take you 10 minutes to hack through it with this, if your lucky you can hack through your ankle in 5" and then drive off.
I suggest you go Mad Max on them and handcuff them to a car that has gasoline leaking and then you get a bowl or something and put it under the gas leak and then put a lighter under it, not right under it but enough to make it get hot after a while and then give one of them a hacksaw and then say "The chain on those handcuffs is high intensive steal, it'll take you 10 minutes to hack through it with this, if your lucky you can hack through your ankle in 5" and then drive off.
Irony is a cruel, sadistic bitch.