Duck and Cover Forum Index


Use these links, buy stuff from Amazon and help us out, nubs. Link Translator
Amazon.com | Amazon.ca | Amazon.co.uk | Amazon.de | Fishpond.co.nz
  Duck and Cover  •  FAQ  •  Search  •  Memberlist  •  Usergroups   •  Register  •  Profile  •  Log in to check your private messages  •  Log in

 Support DAC!
 Conan: Blood, Tits, Ron Pearlmans Face View next topic
View previous topic
Post new topicReply to topic
Poll :: How Buff should conan be?

Lean and athletic
11%
 11%  [ 1 ]
So buff that he swings once and breaks your spine
88%
 88%  [ 8 ]
Total Votes : 9


Author Message
POOPERSCOOPER
Paparazzi
Paparazzi


Joined: 05 Apr 2003
Posts: 5017
Location: California

PostPosted: Tue Aug 23, 2011 4:41 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Conan is based of the same story that the Arnold movies are based off of which is a barbarian who kills stuff. I don't know if it's based of a comic book or a books I don't know but the original Conan was great. Conan 2 wasn't so great but I liked it a lot as a kid the same how kids (atleast me) always enjoyed the worse sequels more than the original (ghostbusters 2, gremlins 2, hot shots 2, etc).


Anyways, this Conan is like a re-imaging, it's not really a remake or a sequel. It's not a remake in the sense that the story is different but it still has the beginning of conan. The movie stars the dude from Game of Thrones who isn't as big as Arnold and I found that distracting to the movie. Ron Perlman plays Conan's father and Stephan Lang (guy from avatar) plays the bad guy.

The new conan has lots of blood and gory kills which is cool but that will only get you so far. The actual story in the movie isn't that important in conan except for how it's done. The original conan was good because it had the conan music and it had conan playing with the sword in the sun, you understand everything just by watching that. In the new conan, the guy who plays conan is actually a fairly good actor but makes conan smart and experienced which doesn't make a unique hero like the original conan.

What I don't understand is why they couldn't have gotten the original conan theme, it would have made the movie so much better. It's like having the FO2 tracks in New Vegas, those parts are the best because the music really makes everything better than it should be.

Overall, the new conan doesn't live up the original at all and is more of just another use of an old license to make a movie they want to make. The good things which this movie is that there is lots of fighting and killing stuff but doesn't leave a memorable impression like the original did. I also saw the movie in 3d and it didn't add anything what so ever, James Cameron is the bane of cinema now.
View user's profileSend private messageAIM Address
SenisterDenister
250 Posts til Somewhere
250 Posts til Somewhere


Joined: 23 Apr 2007
Posts: 2834
Location: Cackalackyland

PostPosted: Tue Aug 23, 2011 7:52 am Reply with quoteBack to top

As far as I know Conan in the books was smart and experienced, so they may have had his character based more on the novels over the previous movies.
View user's profileSend private messageVisit poster's website
VasikkA
No more Tuna
No more Tuna


Joined: 15 Jun 2002
Posts: 8716

PostPosted: Tue Aug 23, 2011 9:02 am Reply with quoteBack to top

I'll probably wait for the 3D porno version.
View user's profileSend private message
Megatron
Mamma's Gang member
Mamma's Gang member


Joined: 19 Apr 2002
Posts: 7752
Location: groovy

PostPosted: Tue Aug 23, 2011 10:48 am Reply with quoteBack to top

I liked the original and I liked the dude in game of thrones != me watchin dis ok maybe in few months with the jaybob.exe that will unlock some codecs for 3d viewing experience (2 monitors at a ninety degree angle playing the movie with a 0.1 second delay =! true 3d fun)

: )
View user's profileSend private messageVisit poster's website
Cimmerian Nights
Striding Hero
Striding Hero


Joined: 20 Aug 2004
Posts: 1367
Location: The Roche Motel

PostPosted: Tue Aug 23, 2011 5:35 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

SenisterDenister wrote:
As far as I know Conan in the books was smart and experienced, so they may have had his character based more on the novels over the previous movies.


I read the original RE Howard books way back, but I'm not going out of my way to watch this one. The preview looks kind of silly, muggy, summer pop-corn flick although Pearlman and Lang are 2 of my favorites.

I wouldn't say he's smart - more like shrewd and cunning. As far as experienced - the old books had a progression to them, and the first movie did a great job of showing him go from kid to orphan to slave to pit fighter to thief to soldier etc. etc. The books go even further as he becomes kind of a pirate, cavalryman, bodyguard, general etc. etc. and eventually rises to become king of some land.

The first movie was great
Milius directing
Script by Oliver Stone (he was planning to write a series of like 12 but hollywood balked, this was pre-CG, could probably be done now. SHit like this is more feasible in a post-LOTR trilogy world).
Basil Poledouris did the music - heavy soundtrack
Great actors - Von Sydow, JE Jones, Ahhnold etc. Even the non-actor jocks are great like Lopez, that tall dude from the Raiders, the dancer chick etc.
And DeLaurentis was always great at producing big extravaganzas.
That movie had great art direction, sets, costumes, props and shit are top notch and while familiar, never really look like any ancient civilization we know.


Quote:

What I don't understand is why they couldn't have gotten the original conan theme, it would have made the movie so much better. It's like having the FO2 tracks in New Vegas, those parts are the best because the music really makes everything better than it should be.

I honestly think decisions like this come down to them wanting to put something else on the market. Even an inferior soundtrack is something new to put on the rack at Walmart to catch some mouth-breather's eye.
View user's profileSend private message
rad resistance
Striding Hero
Striding Hero


Joined: 17 Dec 2008
Posts: 1431
Location: Penn's Woods

PostPosted: Wed Aug 24, 2011 5:38 am Reply with quoteBack to top

My bro who is a R.E. Howard fiend took one look at the previews and just said "what a crock of shit". I think it looks shitty and will properly end up seeing it in a year or so.
View user's profileSend private messageSend e-mail
Cimmerian Nights
Striding Hero
Striding Hero


Joined: 20 Aug 2004
Posts: 1367
Location: The Roche Motel

PostPosted: Wed Aug 24, 2011 3:28 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Yeah, and it's not like the books are high art or anything, they are straight up pulp.

Even still, they have a complexity that Hollywood won't touch, because he's very much an anti-hero and has lots of pathos. Even when there's a happy ending in a Conan story (he kills the bad guy, saves the girl, gets the loot!) it usually ends up with him killing the bitch because she gave the gold to her boyfriend while he was high on some lotus.

Hollywood doesn't have the balls to do it right.
Same with the original 007 novels, Bond is a real dick - racist, misogynist, totally politically incorrect by today's pussified standards. That's too challenging and uncomfortable a character for the mainstream movie goer to embrace.

They have to tone these guys down and turn them into likable Indiana Jones type characters that don't threaten women or do the right thing in the end.

Why bother then?
The guy's a fucking barbarian, it's like they want him to join Greenpeace now so as not to offend anyone and make him more likable.
View user's profileSend private message
Blargh
‹berkommando
‹berkommando


Joined: 09 Nov 2003
Posts: 6250

PostPosted: Wed Aug 24, 2011 11:44 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

You cannot kill that which is extinct. Ergo, Conan is interested in conservation.

DO GREENPEACE HAVE A MASCOT

icon_drunk
View user's profileSend private message
Stalagmite
Wandering Hero
Wandering Hero


Joined: 26 Feb 2009
Posts: 1192
Location: IN YOUR PANTS AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Thu Aug 25, 2011 6:40 am Reply with quoteBack to top

The only thing cinematic you need concern yourself with regarding Conan the Barbarian.
View user's profileSend private messageMSN Messenger
SenisterDenister
250 Posts til Somewhere
250 Posts til Somewhere


Joined: 23 Apr 2007
Posts: 2834
Location: Cackalackyland

PostPosted: Thu Aug 25, 2011 7:54 am Reply with quoteBack to top

+1
View user's profileSend private messageVisit poster's website
St. Toxic
Haha you're still not there yet
Haha you're still not there yet


Joined: 31 Dec 2004
Posts: 3362
Location: One-man religion.

PostPosted: Sun Aug 28, 2011 12:09 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Yeah, no. I'm gonna get the books on tape, though. icon_drunk
View user's profileSend private messageSend e-mailAIM AddressYahoo Messenger
popscythe
Elite Wanderer
Elite Wanderer


Joined: 11 Feb 2005
Posts: 692
Location: Silent Hill, Oregon

PostPosted: Thu Sep 01, 2011 5:21 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Shrewd and cunning my ass, in the first Conan story he's a king who's let ruling make him soft, then some ghost makes his sword magical and Conan doesn't even realize it until he's shattered the sword over someone's helmet already and uses the chunk of hilt as a last resort against this fuckin' cool demon.

Best part? Even though he's been stabbed a ton of times by some assholes and is bleeding to death and just fought a demon and won after being stabbed said ton of times, the first thing he does when some dudes finally figure out their king has been attacked is roar for some WINE!

Conan is a barbarian. This move isn't about barbarians it's about power rangers and assholes.

Also, they're short stories, you fucking philistines.
View user's profileSend private message
rad resistance
Striding Hero
Striding Hero


Joined: 17 Dec 2008
Posts: 1431
Location: Penn's Woods

PostPosted: Fri Sep 02, 2011 8:14 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Look Mr. Happy is back.
View user's profileSend private messageSend e-mail
popscythe
Elite Wanderer
Elite Wanderer


Joined: 11 Feb 2005
Posts: 692
Location: Silent Hill, Oregon

PostPosted: Fri Sep 02, 2011 11:08 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Eat shit.
View user's profileSend private message
Stalagmite
Wandering Hero
Wandering Hero


Joined: 26 Feb 2009
Posts: 1192
Location: IN YOUR PANTS AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Sun Sep 04, 2011 11:49 am Reply with quoteBack to top

The books are fucken badass unlike those faggot ass lord of the rings gay hobbit shiteaters.fuck
View user's profileSend private messageMSN Messenger
St. Toxic
Haha you're still not there yet
Haha you're still not there yet


Joined: 31 Dec 2004
Posts: 3362
Location: One-man religion.

PostPosted: Sun Sep 04, 2011 9:24 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I thought they were a bit too campy. And while the setting literally shits gems at you, the premises of the stories are so similar they almost fade into each other. I did like them though. icon_chew


Last edited by St. Toxic on Sun Sep 04, 2011 9:55 pm; edited 1 time in total
View user's profileSend private messageSend e-mailAIM AddressYahoo Messenger
rad resistance
Striding Hero
Striding Hero


Joined: 17 Dec 2008
Posts: 1431
Location: Penn's Woods

PostPosted: Sun Sep 04, 2011 9:37 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Most are good and quick reads.
View user's profileSend private messageSend e-mail
4too
Vault Elite
Vault Elite


Joined: 17 May 2002
Posts: 348

PostPosted: Sun Sep 04, 2011 11:53 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Summer's Past


Don't recall where before I've mentioned the paper back books that were passed around at a certain age,
when there was only three and a half channels and nothing was on.

Just educated enough that novels started to read themselves as eager eyes flowed over page to page.

Just young enough that 'age appropriate' might nurture inhibiting assumptions, so avoided the library.

Scarce cash so private purchase not an option.

Do not recall the order, only some significant volumes.


The Catcher In The Rye

Lord Of The Flies

1984

Queer Daddy icon_yikes

Conan The Warrior



Conan this, Conan that, eventually got through most of this Lancer/Ace series of pulp fantasies.

Years later, primed and ready for the first Conan movie.

Went to the first available, most likely a week day or matinee, very few people.

Sat close enough in center so screen filled total peripheral vision.

Body relaxed from a day's fatigue, as if floating in a plush upholstered sea.

Movie starts and credits roll.

Arnold Schwarzenegger

The screen was dominated.

Beheld the pow-ah of the name, and James Earl Jones became 'just' a supporting actor.



Now, other priorities stretch on into tomorrow and tomorrow. Can wait for any re-make.



4too
View user's profileSend private message
Mismatch
Hero of the Glowing Lands
Hero of the Glowing Lands


Joined: 20 Jan 2004
Posts: 2132
Location: Over yonder hill

PostPosted: Wed Sep 07, 2011 1:36 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

We went to the movies, Jesus and I, watching Conan the Barb. As he snuggled closer, and fondled my sack, I stopped dead in my track.

Once Conan stood bold I emptied my load. The movies were never the same.
View user's profileSend private message
jiujitsu
Wanderer
Wanderer


Joined: 08 Feb 2004
Posts: 402
Location: New Jersey

PostPosted: Tue Sep 13, 2011 5:48 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Decent acting for what it was. Jason Mamoa is a good fit for Conan. Lots of blood and gore. Lots and lots of tits. Lots of Hollywood cliches. Overall, I enjoyed it. Fun flick if you don't take it too seriously.
View user's profileSend private message
Display posts from previous:      
Post new topicReply to topic


Jump to:  



View next topic
View previous topic
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum


Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2005 phpBB Group