Game you're playing. How far you are.

[jimmypneumatic]

it's kids dressed like retards led by retards dressed as kids.

When does this ever not happen, and successfully get the kids to follow?

*cough* NAMBLA *cough*

[Tofu Man]

When does this ever not happen, and successfully get the kids to follow?

Why? Your old "Hey, there's candy in the back of my van" routine not working for you anymore?

[Tofu Man]

malodourous

I'm going to completely ignore how rather defensive that sounds in the name of not unearthing any weird emotions and ask you instead- what would've been a comparison to meet your "unrealistic standards"?

noes!

¿No te gusta, tío? Tell me "no es" so?

Ed- ok, so I'll explain this so as not to be accused of presuming you know spanish in addition to a couple libraries' worth of english- No es = it's not. However, it doesn't function as a whole sentence itself. So when you say "Oh noes", it sounds like someone trying to speak spanish and failing. So there. Now i've made it unfunny.

irritates

So I assume about your taste in "games journalists" and you're fine, yet I ask about your intent and I'm being presumptuous?

Not good enough

Well, fuck. Score 1 for team Blargh, I s'pose. I could've argued that 60 years on they're still the expression of choice for "uncompromisingly evil" (outdoing "terrorist" by a 3 to 1 ratio (citation needed)) but then games journalist will probably the expression of choice for "spineless", "irrelevant internet celebrity" [sic], "humourless twat", "hack" and others for many centuries to come.

[Blargh]

I'm sure his intentions are entirely above board and unencumbered by an ulterior agenda . . .

[Tofu Man]

intentions

...and no, I'm not even gonna ask...

[Blargh]

defensive

Ahahahaha. If mud were a book . . .

comparison

No fucking idea !

Ah yes, how unfortunate of me to forget that existence requires declaration.

Score

More of an underscore, I think, to their extraordinarily comprehensive squandering of opportunities. No punnery intended. MEA CULPA.

ask

A wonderful contradiction of being. No, it was a fairly banal method of discovery. I occasionally browse TIGSource, and it is a memorable title.

[Tofu Man]

Oh fuck you responded while I was responding -

Yes, we should stop meeting like this. Your faint mechanical whirring is giving me goosebumps. And I'm more of a duck person. The intelligent animal kind, not the kid. Also, sneaky editing, EH?

declaration

So what answer do you want? That "I ask therefore I am" is not a thing? (is it?) Or that according to your ruleset, you're presuming just as much yourself about my (inexistant) presumptions?

MEA CULPA

No hablo latino.

memorable

Nice catch, then. That's one you owe me. Ach, we can call it even for the movie you should've posted instead of me.

[Blargh]

presuming

Is it irritating you ? I hope so.

latino

Ehue.

[Blargh]

Recently aquired Unepic in one of those increasingly numerous 'Bundles' (even EA are dabbling in this area) for about 3 dollars. I believe the genre is some quaint portmanteu . . . Ah, 'Metroidvania'.

It possesses reasonably entertaining gameplay, so long as you can look past the writing and dialogue, which are lacklustre, even by the standards of the medium. So, if you enjoy killing things to collect things that enable you to visit new <strike>tilesets</strike> places where you kill things to collect things, you'll probably enjoy it. Maybe.

[Stainless]

Playing mechwarrior online. Kind of buggy, but that's beta and it gets substantial improvements with every patch.

[Tofu Man]

Center stage, ya cunt. Take a bow.

[Tofu Man]

Pray tell, Blarghster, have thou playdst Cart Life as of yet? My fuzzy feelers tell me you're going to hate this one, so naturally, I thought I'd recommend it heartily.

But it's seriously the best serious game ever. It's also seriously un-fun to, er, "play". But memorable, yes. Also, stylish. Also- bugs (don't pick the russian).
Think Walking Dead, only not only (wat) there's gameplay, the gameplay actually makes sense (unfortunately). Also- story that doesn't suck. Also- freedom. Also- no time for anything. It's RL. It's RCL. I'd complain it's stressing as all fuck but then, that's. The. Point.

Actually, strike stressing. It's exhausting.

[Tofu Man]

And let it be known that after playing 3 minutes of Fallout 3 on a PS3 I was ready to sever both my thumbs and stick them in my eyesockets. And some of the best selling console games are FPSs? No wonder today's youth seem completely retarded. It's because they are.

[Blargh]

playdst

Yea. January of this year, in fact. :hip:

hate

Hatred is such a strong word.

Despite the relentless suspicion that it was not intended, I enjoyed the art direction and the music. Both demonstrated considerable finesse. As for the gameplay, it reminded me of Pathologic, primarily due to their comprehensive recreation of a mild depressive fugue in game format. A remarkable portrait of misery, angst and stress <strike>also extinction level events</strike>. Compounded by bugs, the deliberately irritating/obtuse control and save management systems. Less Creatures That Should Not Be in Cart Life, though. Perhaps for the sequel ?

Either way, while enjoyment is obviously the wrong state to attribute, I am glad that I suffered through them. I honestly believe that for the medium to mature and eventually stand proudly by the side of its elder siblings Books and Cinema (compared to the status quo of enduring frequent, disparaging likenings to them), more authors must shrug off the industry mandated tether to twee, happy endings and mostly mindless gratification as milestones and end goals.

But how likely is that ?

retarded

AT LEAST THEY'RE IN GOOD COMPANY

[Blargh]

Oh, hey, as an alternative fix for Zombies, I've been toying with a rather interesting roguelike called Cataclysm.

In my last foray, after leaving my stating point of an evacuation shelter, I was quickly noticed and pursued by a (fortunately) small pack of wolves, then several throngs of zombies as I fled toward/through a nearby town, cut through a bottleshop, quickly grabbed a baseball bat, hastily tore up my t-shirt, assembled a couple of molotovs and set fire to the shop as they caught up, almost died of smoke inhalation, liberated an orphaned quad bike from a nearby carpark, and made my escape from the few unburnt stragglers.

Got blitzed on rum and vodka in celebration, before losing control of the vehicle on the highway and crashing through a hive of giant bees, abandoning the sadly ruined bike, being stung a couple of times, gorging myself on honey, battering a few errant bees and steadily limping away into the forest nearby. Heard an explosion, and though I couldn't reconcile going back, I'm fairly certain the hive was worse for it. Fucking bees.

Found a crash site, plus corpses, cut my feet up badly on the wreckage, souvenired some much needed new shoes and medical supplies, and then Strange Chemicals from an ex-scientist, also an ID card. Couldn't resist and so, chugged the Strange Chemicals - acquired tentacle arms, became mildly radioactive - not all bad though, infrared vision.

Found some triffid children, managed to avoid being overrun by breaking into a research complex with the card. Went underground, stumbled around in the darkness, eventually found a room full of implants, succumbed to avarice and tried to hack access, botched it and triggered an alarm, cut to pieces by attending manhacks.

R.I.P Marmaduke Potson, you lived a full 3 and a half hours.

I've found it very entertaining, despite being in alpha. While it is native to linux, windows compatible releases are available, though they tend to be somewhat buggier. Can also be played via emulators, obviously. Also, for the ACSII adverse, there are several tilesets available, though they're in varying states of (in)completion, and tend to be attached to less current builds, so unless you feel like compiling your own . . .

Lots of mods, ranging from entirely new content to tweaks of default elements, though they're in the same niche as tilesets with regard to version obsolescence.

All in all, highly recommended.

[Tofu Man]

Hatred is such a strong word.

Ah, indeed. But then, so is the phrase-

[quote="er.. I meant "it""]I suffered through them.[/quote]
Yet I know exactly what you mean. And that's part of what makes it so bloddy good; other parts being the ability to make you want to post stuff about it, the ability to get an emotionally dead spambot waxing about his "honest belief(s)", the ability to portray itself as something with everything in its right place but mainly, the ability to make you want to sing it to high heavens and in such an original manner- It'll bewilder you, it'll awe you, it'll charm you, it'll stress you, it'll break you, it'll break itself, it'll summon your determination to finish it and it'll leave you wishing every other game was like it. 10 Richard Bransons /10.

And I just know that somewhere, Richard Hoffmeier is sitting behind a computer screen reading people telling tales of them ripping their hair out because Andrus keeps telling them THAT 20-1,20=18.80 IS WRONG (WHY YOU FU*#$%=" ILLITERATE RUSSIAN AS*+´`2), and he'll be smirking. Like a cunt. Yet, for some inexplicable reason, it is alright.

sequel ?

Philistine.

[Blargh]

Tomb Raider - The Angel of Darkness is on GoG. Ahahahaha.

[jimmypneumatic]

Does sugarfree candy work?

Also Parasite Eve is fabulous!

[Megatron]

I'm currently giving 'Endless Space' a raz. I wanted something a bit like homeworld with more planets and shit, it's more like civilization mixed with endless spreadsheets.

[SenisterDenister]

So Master of Orion 3?