Supermutants + useless testicles - brain =human wave attacks

Like Tactics? Found a cool mod for another game that reminds you of Fallout? Playing those crappy spin-off console games called "Fallout"? Discuss here.
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airsoft guy
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Supermutants + useless testicles - brain =human wave attacks

Post by airsoft guy »

So I'm sitting here playing Fallout Tactics and I noticed something about the super mutants, they're dumb. I'm sure you all knew that before, it's not too terribly hard to see. But, you would think they would have just a little more sense in the way they fight battles. As we all know their peskies don't work right, sure they can pump it all they like, but the baby batter just don't work, plus the vats were destroyed so they can't make any more mutie babies and whatnot. This being said for all to know (you should already know about it), wouldn't you think it might be prudent for them to change their strategy from bloodthirsty, gung-ho, Hulk knock-offs, to something more along the lines of farmer, or builder? You know, something to help benefit the rest of the world, so that maybe somebody might take pity on them.

Maybe they should follow the example of the ghouls and live out their lives in a radiated wonderland. You talk to the ghouls and they're insane. They walk around praising the bomb as if it were Jesus Christ riding Ghandi pulled by Buddha. Sure it gave you long life, but there are three major side effects that you can see in the game.

One: they're green and ugly with their skin falling off, but that's what happens when you hang out next to plutonium rods and swim around in toxic goo, you just sort of melt.

Two, your pills don't work, and there is no cure for this, they just shrivel up and die. Seems to me that if I was going to live for 200 years I would also want my beefstick to work properly.

Number three, like I said, they are nuts. They've gone completely insane, but that's what happens when you sit and stare at a atomic bomb all day long. You start to hear things, little voices, telling you to do things, like kill your mom, she's always holding you back, wont let you do your own thing, always yelling at you for coming home late. Kill her, kill her, kill, kill, kill, kill....

Oh I also forgot, they kind of smell, also a side effect of the skin falling off and such, you know since they are, like, rotting. I would kill them all too, it would be a mercy, who the Hell wants to go through life smelling like rotten meat with a tree growing out of their head?

So lets run down the list here, their ugly and green, so they can't get no pussy, even from their own kind, I'm not stuffing my submarine in that polluted swamp she calls a vagina, but it doesn't even matter since it doesn't work right anyway. Then they have the whole nutso thing going on for them, so even if they didn't smell and look like Edvard Munch's The Scream gone horribly wrong, they wouldn't get any because no girl wants to have sex with a crazy man. They're usually unkept, and smell just as bad as rotting flesh. They also have that creepy laugh, you don't want to hear that at the height of passion, ruins the mood. It's like that one time I was using the Magic Porn Box and I found a chick with a lazy eye. Let me tell you, it's damn hard to stroke it and laugh at the same time, one eye was looking at you, and the other was directed at your junk.

Then there's the Deathclaws, I hate the Deathclaws in Tactics. They just look like fruits to me, not like kiwis and such, but like homosexual dinosaurs, especially with the hair it makes them look like they're all wearing feather boas. I remember my first encounter with deathclaws. It was Fallout, I was heading over to the Gunrunners, I had heard of Deathclaws before, and they sounded scary and able to kick an Abrams' ass all over the place. And then I saw one, and checked it's HP and found it was a rather strong critter and decided to run, run for all that was holy, pizza, pussy and Santa Claus. It was one of the scariest things I had ever seen in a game, it looked like a fucking demon, and there were three of them!

Fast forward to my Deathclaw experience in Fallout Tactics. They were baby deathclaws, and they sucked, I lined up my squad and blew them away, it was like something out of an Western, like a Clint Eastwood film, where people had Ak-47's. Those Deathclaws sucked royal dick. I've shit things meaner than those little pissant excuses for a opponent. Give me a squad of Super Mutants over those twats any day.

Hell, I didn't even like the Beastlords as a whole, it was like a band of guys who got together and wanted to play Aquaman, but didn't live close enough to the ocean. So instead of having sharks and whales doing shit for them, they have giant bees and those fucking Boom Bugs. That was one of the gayest enemies I have ever encountered in a game, in fact I'm straining to find something even stupider, but it's damn hard. If it wasn't for the fact that they had Deathclaws they would have been the easiest enemy around, with the Raiders being the weakest, although coolest. The only reason the Raiders are so damn weak is because they are the first guys you fight, at least most of them had real guns, and now sticks or zip guns.

In all honesty I think Tactics should have just stayed away from the rest of those baddies, and simply stuck with the Raiders throughout the whole game. It just kind of pissed me off to see that. It goes from perfectly salvageable to utter shit. But that's what Game Utilities were invented for. I think someone ought to implement my ideas, from this thread, and the one about those fucking Boom Bugs. Sounds like it might be a fun game to me. The majority of the weapons are semi-only, much more thought given to melee combat, while at the same time allowing someone to go through the game as a gunslinger. I wont do it for two simple reasons, I don't know how, and I'm too lazy. I just crap out ideas and get credit for them, that's what a Creative Consultant does.
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Post by requiem_for_a_starfury »

Airsoft Guy I really think you should uninstall FOT and chuck it in the bin. If playing it gets you this riled it can't be good for your blood pressure. :)

That said, did you ever see the 1987 film version of Dragnet? When the bad guys have a meeting and put on the goat leggings, that's what the Deathclaws remind me of, Dan Aykroyd in a pair of Pan pants. :) Which is why I call them Deathgoats. :)
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Post by airsoft guy »

Meh, it doesn't really get me that worked up, what gets me going is taxes, don't get me started on taxes, gun control, welfare, and there was another one that pisses me off... Oh right, Federaly funded art. 2 billion dollars a year from Uncle Sucker so they can take shits on other works of art. I wouldn't mind it so much if they were using their own fucking money, and not mine. Few years ago the evil Republicans tried pulling that 2 billion dollar funding, of course all those fucking hippies shit themselvs and got up on their high-horses and made performance pieces about how evil the Republicans were and how much the art community would suffer. You know how much those fucksticks get from private organizations per year? TWO HUNDRED BILLION DOLLARS! Fuck me in the ass folks, these guys just need to put down their bongs and look at the facts. They don't need Federal dollars to make art, there was art before government funding, and there will always be art, no matter what they say. Left-wing communist pudd whackers, eat me.

See what I told you? That came out of nowhere.
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Post by Kashluk »

I bet you're dingling 250/100.
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Post by eyemaster7 »

Stop using JET. :roll: Use mentats which are better for your brain... :p
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Post by airsoft guy »

Kashluk wrote:I bet you're dingling 250/100.
What?
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Post by Wolfman Walt »

I think he's refering to your blood pressure.
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Post by Kashluk »

That is moft covvect, sir.
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Post by Canis Lupus »

Even if the muties didn't turn into farmers and such , all they'd have to do is change their combat strategies - to unconventional warfare; covert and such - they would be better preserved than with their current wave-after-wave 'tank' rushes.
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Post by MurPHy »

airsoft guy wrote:don't get me started on taxes, gun control, welfare,
So what is your opinion of gun control, airsoft? Too much? Or too little?
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Post by Kashluk »

As his knowledge of firearms must be based mostly on airsoft guns, I guess he'd say too much :)
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Post by Stainless »

I agree with you on the art stuff, Airsoft. Over here we've got these slabs of concrete. Stuck into the ground. Painted yellow on one side. And Pink/purple on the other. This *somehow* represents the gold rush era over here. Anyhow, now the things are up for an award.
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Post by Slave_Master »

Stainless wrote:I agree with you on the art stuff, Airsoft. Over here we've got these slabs of concrete. Stuck into the ground. Painted yellow on one side. And Pink/purple on the other. This *somehow* represents the gold rush era over here. Anyhow, now the things are up for an award.
About a month ago I went to the San Fran Museum of Modern Art, expecting it to be, you know, actual art, just painted recently. Holy shit, was I in for a load of disgust, not to mention self hatred for being conned out of ten bucks. There was a fucking cow skull in a box, soaking in formaldehyde, lying in the middle of the room. I almost tripped over it. Art, my ass.

As far as how shitty the enemies in FOT are, I'm not sure I agree. I quit playing after that mission where you rescue the town from the beastlords -- I never made it to the mutants.
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Post by Crackzilla »

I want a Fallout Hummer! and does anyone else thinks it's sick that the only prostitutes in Quincy are ghouls and a Mutant saving up for collage? I guess some of the mutants did try other lifestyles...
Then there's Marcus, he and his jolly band tried something new...
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Post by Guest »

Macus nearly got all his mutie friends killed by startign that dump of a town that failed anyway, that was probably the least fun place in the whole fallout universe. You need to be smart to survive and since muties don't have a brain between the whole lot of them, only cheese between their ears they were boud to fail the second the brain behind them got cooked by bolts of plasma and then vapourised by a nuke.
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Post by The Slaughter »

WOW !! look like people here hae mutants don'tcha ?
Time to kick ass !!
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Post by Retlaw83 »

This thread is about a year old. I think it's safe to assume that no one who originally posted in it is still waiting for responses.
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Post by ApTyp »

I respectfully disagree. How are you supposed to raise your postcount without resurrecting year-old threads?
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Post by Fez »

airsoft guy wrote:It's like that one time I was using the Magic Porn Box and I found a chick with a lazy eye. Let me tell you, it's damn hard to stroke it and laugh at the same time, one eye was looking at you, and the other was directed at your junk.
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Post by airsoft guy »

Fez wrote:
airsoft guy wrote:It's like that one time I was using the Magic Porn Box and I found a chick with a lazy eye. Let me tell you, it's damn hard to stroke it and laugh at the same time, one eye was looking at you, and the other was directed at your junk.
Prediction?
It was a different woman from the one I found a few days ago.

But damn, I feel so honored to have some asshat dig up one of my posts.
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