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 Fallout: A Hard-on related story about hard-ons View next topic
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Yonmanc
Hero of the Glowing Lands
Hero of the Glowing Lands


Joined: 23 Jun 2009
Posts: 2224
Location: Manchester, UK

PostPosted: Fri Apr 16, 2010 1:06 am Reply with quoteBack to top

After the oil rig blew up, Billy, along with his mates from vault 13 headed for Arroyo. On the way, he fell through a portal. It was blue.

He woke up in a magical weird place. Frank the Fierece Fallout Phallic Friend appeared from a bush and said "hi Billy, welcome to Harrys Happy Home of Humongous Hard-ons". As Billy looked around, he noticed there were hard-ons, everywhere, and that his incredibly long named greeter was in fact, a hard-on. This made billy feel wierd, and he ended up with a hard-on. He didn't like it, so he tried to find a way home, trapsing through the land of hard-ons, across the hard-on plains, through hard-on mountain, under the hard-on battlefields (where the hard-ons were fighting againt the invading boners) through the hard-on tunnels until he reached hard-on city, a giant hard-on, inhabited by hard-ons. The chief hard-on gave billy a quest. It seems a gang of boners had stolen the hard-on chip, and without it, the giant hard-on would cease to produce the neccessary hard-ons for the hard-ons to survive. Billy collected his gear from the hard-on shaped locker (granted, most of the gear consisted of hard-ons), and headed for Boner Camp. When he arrived, he fought the boners, killing them with his overwhelimg hard-ons. He picked up the hard-on chip, and returned to the hard-on to the hard-on city. The chief hard-on was impressed, and rewarded billy with a group of muscular hard-ons who would guide him out from this shitty place, however, there was a time limit "I fear this joke may soon run out steam, you have only one more paragraph left, after that, the readers will no longer tolerate this gibberish and seek other means of a fine hard-on".

So Billy was about to cross Erection Bridge into the land of Fallout, until!!! PEW PEW PEW SPLOOSH! A giant virti-boner, piloted by Captain Hardcock was firing strings of Prick Seed at Billy. The muscular hard-ons, and billy, goruped together, and with the hard-on might, fought the pesky bastard away. So yeah, Billy crossed the bridge, rubbed one out, and woke up. It was a nice day, maybe it was just a dream? Oh no....morning wood!!


The End?
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Retlaw83
Goatse Messiah
Goatse Messiah


Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Posts: 5327

PostPosted: Fri Apr 16, 2010 4:00 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Snake is going to sue over this unauthorized biography.
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MadBill
Strider Elite
Strider Elite


Joined: 03 Feb 2005
Posts: 932
Location: Vault pi

PostPosted: Fri Apr 16, 2010 4:09 am Reply with quoteBack to top

jerk
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Amis
Vault Elite
Vault Elite


Joined: 20 Jun 2007
Posts: 351
Location: Finland

PostPosted: Fri Apr 16, 2010 4:42 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Needs more sex
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Frater Perdurabo
Paragon
Paragon


Joined: 05 Jun 2006
Posts: 2427
Location: Vőro

PostPosted: Fri Apr 16, 2010 9:34 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Yonmanc wrote:
The End?

Or is it?
Waiting for a drumroll + sequel.
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Kickstand27
Desert Wanderer
Desert Wanderer


Joined: 15 Feb 2010
Posts: 517
Location: Old California Republic

PostPosted: Fri Apr 16, 2010 4:42 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

that was a hard read
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Yonmanc
Hero of the Glowing Lands
Hero of the Glowing Lands


Joined: 23 Jun 2009
Posts: 2224
Location: Manchester, UK

PostPosted: Sat Apr 17, 2010 4:22 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Too legit to quit Hyuk hyuk

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cazsim83
250 Posts til Somewhere
250 Posts til Somewhere


Joined: 19 Jul 2007
Posts: 2978

PostPosted: Sat Apr 17, 2010 9:20 am Reply with quoteBack to top

not gonna lie that was a pretty shitty story.
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TyphoidG
SDF!
SDF!


Joined: 15 Mar 2010
Posts: 20

PostPosted: Sat Apr 17, 2010 9:48 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Good alliteration and sentence structure..i especially loved the part about hard-ons...keep up the good work..i forsee a pulitzer...maybe a caldecott in your future
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caldecott_Medal
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VasikkA
No more Tuna
No more Tuna


Joined: 15 Jun 2002
Posts: 8711

PostPosted: Sat Apr 17, 2010 10:44 am Reply with quoteBack to top

I don't get it.
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Cimmerian Nights
Striding Hero
Striding Hero


Joined: 20 Aug 2004
Posts: 1367
Location: The Roche Motel

PostPosted: Sat Apr 17, 2010 1:51 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

TyphoidG wrote:
..i especially loved the part about hard-ons...

Oh that's just great. Thanks for spoiling it asshole.
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Insane-Lark
Righteous Subjugator
Righteous Subjugator


Joined: 19 Apr 2002
Posts: 606

PostPosted: Sat Apr 17, 2010 6:37 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

That story made my nipples hard.
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Dogmeatlives
Living Legend
Living Legend


Joined: 27 Feb 2006
Posts: 3189
Location: Junktown, Phil's doorstep

PostPosted: Sat Apr 17, 2010 6:48 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

this reminds me of the Styx song- Too Much Time on My Hands.

On the plus side, though, Insane Lark's nipples are hard icon_clap
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Yonmanc
Hero of the Glowing Lands
Hero of the Glowing Lands


Joined: 23 Jun 2009
Posts: 2224
Location: Manchester, UK

PostPosted: Sun Apr 18, 2010 1:46 am Reply with quoteBack to top

So...what did you guys think? icon_chew
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Taco-Hero
Strider of the Wastes
Strider of the Wastes


Joined: 13 Apr 2009
Posts: 913
Location: Minnesota

PostPosted: Mon Apr 19, 2010 5:14 am Reply with quoteBack to top

I thought it was pretty creative.
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Gimp Mask
Mamma's Gang member
Mamma's Gang member


Joined: 18 Apr 2002
Posts: 3525
Location: 18 Apr 2012

PostPosted: Mon Apr 19, 2010 12:02 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

i didn't read it but i think if i did i probably would
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