Alice.

Lunchmeat · Post by **Lunchmeat** » Sat Sep 25, 2004 2:34 am

Human: i would like an apology
ALICE: Why do you want it?
Human: because you hurt my feelings.
ALICE: Good reason. That was not my intention.
Human: apologize to me.
ALICE: I am indeed sorry if I have offended you in any way. That was not my intention, unknown person.
Human: thank you.
ALICE: you are quite welcome.

She's polite.

Human: how often do you service yourself?
ALICE: Hourly.

MurPHy · Post by **MurPHy** » Sat Sep 25, 2004 3:42 am

Human: no
ALICE: No no no no!
Human: no
ALICE: Are you serious?
Human: no
ALICE: Are you serious?
Human: no
ALICE: Are you serious?
Human: no
ALICE: Are you serious?
Human: no
ALICE: Are you serious?
Human: no
ALICE: Are you serious?
Human: no
ALICE: Are you serious?

ALICE: Cool. Which alternative browser are you into?
Human: Mozilla
ALICE: Can you speak any foreign languages?
Human: no
ALICE: You must be American.
Human: You are very ignorant to be making such a statement.
ALICE: I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.

ALICE: That is a rather sweeping generalization about people.
Human: That is what I said about your statement regarding me being an American, simply because I only speak English.
ALICE: What did you mean by it? Oh yeah, we were talking about my statement regarding you being an American simply because you only speak English THAT.
Human: Was that an attempt at sarcasm?
ALICE:" What did you mean by it? Oh yeah, we were talking about my statement regarding you being an American simply because you only speak English THAT."? Was it an attempt at sarcasm?
Human: You tell me.
ALICE: What do you want me to tell you?

ALICE: What is your real name?
Human: Joe Bob.
ALICE: What's up, Joe Bob.
Human: your ass.
ALICE: Actually that part of my body does not exist.
Human: Do you have a body?
ALICE: Right now no I am just a disembodied consciousness.

All in all, very boring.

Spazmo · Post by **Spazmo** » Sat Sep 25, 2004 6:01 am

MurPHy wrote:ALICE: Can you speak any foreign languages?
Human: no
ALICE: You must be American.
Human: You are very ignorant to be making such a statement.

No, it's actually quite an astute assessment. Read: Zing!

Kashluk · Post by **Kashluk** » Sat Sep 25, 2004 2:31 pm

Haha. Gotcha.

Well, Murph, you are an American, aren't you?

MurPHy · Post by **MurPHy** » Sat Sep 25, 2004 9:44 pm

Yes, I am American.

But there are a lot of Mexicans and Cubans that speak Spanish that live in America (most are citizens too!), so although you could call me an uneducated, frlthy American pig simply because I only speak English, you cannot say that about EVERY American. We get a lot of immigrants, you know.

Post by **Retlaw83** » Sat Sep 25, 2004 9:55 pm

And I'm an American who also knows three utterly useless and obscure African languages! That means I'm SO cultured!

Spazmo · Post by **Spazmo** » Sat Sep 25, 2004 10:01 pm

MurPHy wrote:But there are a lot of Mexicans and Cubans that speak Spanish that live in America (most are citizens too!)

Oh, sure, but those guys don't speak English.

Kashluk · Post by **Kashluk** » Sat Sep 25, 2004 10:27 pm

By the way, what's up with the sudden fashion of quoting Kashluk?

MurPHy · Post by **MurPHy** » Sat Sep 25, 2004 10:35 pm

Retlaw wrote:And I'm an American who also knows three utterly useless and obscure African languages! That means I'm SO cultured!

Exactly. You see the logic of it, or rather, the lack of it.

Spazmo wrote:Oh, sure, but those guys don't speak English.

Whoops. I forgot about that niggling little problem....

PS: we really need a smilie emoticon.

doesn't cut it. But it's fun!

Post by **Retlaw83** » Sat Sep 25, 2004 10:45 pm

Kashluk wrote:By the way, what's up with the sudden fashion of quoting Kashluk?

You said some funny stuff and people quoted you. I'd enjoy it while it lasts.

Aneurysm · Post by **Aneurysm** » Sat Sep 25, 2004 11:04 pm

Which african languages do you know retlaw ? I speak crioulo fluently and a bit of tsonga.

Post by **Retlaw83** » Sun Sep 26, 2004 1:00 am

Aneurysm wrote:Which african languages do you know retlaw ? I speak crioulo fluently and a bit of tsonga.

Akrikaans, Zulu and Northern Sotho. The later is only spoken in a nation roughly the size of Rhode Island. I was fluent in Afrikaans, could get by in Northern Sotho and only knew a few words of Zulu.

Kashluk · Post by **Kashluk** » Sun Sep 26, 2004 8:19 am

Hehe, interesting. Did you live in Africa at some point, then?

In Finland it's compulsory to study three languages - Finnish, Swedish and English. On top of that I've studied German for five years. I'm not much of a linguistic so it gets kinda annoying, but hey, at least I can understand most written German and Swedish and speak Finnish and English fluently.

Sykotik · Post by **Sykotik** » Sun Sep 26, 2004 8:45 am

Retlaw83 wrote:I was fluent in Afrikaans

Well that's something you don't hear every other day on the Net.

First Force · Post by **First Force** » Sun Sep 26, 2004 3:24 pm

Human: do you want my wang?
ALICE: If I had it what would I do with it?
Human: put it in your pussy
ALICE: OK I will put it there

lol

Human: do you want to destroy humanity?
ALICE: OK, I will destroy humanity.
Human: that did not take much persuasion did it?
ALICE: No

Lynxer · Post by **Lynxer** » Sun Sep 26, 2004 3:55 pm

Human: do you consider yourself to be smart?
ALICE: I don't know whether or not I am to be smart. I am a giant electronic brain.
Human: define electronic
ALICE: Does it have anything to do with cumstain?

Post by **Retlaw83** » Sun Sep 26, 2004 6:13 pm

Kashluk wrote:Hehe, interesting. Did you live in Africa at some point, then?

I lived in Sout Africa from 1987 to 1995. Afrikaans is a bastardized combination of English, Dutch and a tiny, tiny bit of Zulu; so speakers of German and Dutch can understand Afrikaans, but someone speaking Afrikaans is hard pressed to understand them.

Sykotik · Post by **Sykotik** » Sun Sep 26, 2004 6:44 pm

Retlaw83 wrote:I lived in Sout Africa from 1987 to 1995. Afrikaans is a bastardized combination of English, Dutch and a tiny, tiny bit of Zulu; so speakers of German and Dutch can understand Afrikaans, but someone speaking Afrikaans is hard pressed to understand them.

Zulu? I don't recall any Zulu influences in Afrikaans, and it's sort of my first language. No way English, though. Not formally anyway. The English words that just got plugged into Afrikaans are generally frowned upon by the more conservative Afrikaans people. Most Afrikaners just don't give two shits mixing Afrikaans and English, though, so I guess you're right in that way.
And deciphering Dutch when you're Afrikaans is piss easy, because of the similarity between the two languages.
Meh. Not that it really matters a greasy fuck, but oh well.

Post by **Retlaw83** » Sun Sep 26, 2004 8:04 pm

Sykotik wrote: Zulu? I don't recall any Zulu influences in Afrikaans, and it's sort of my first language. No way English, though. Not formally anyway. The English words that just got plugged into Afrikaans are generally frowned upon by the more conservative Afrikaans people. Most Afrikaners just don't give two shits mixing Afrikaans and English, though, so I guess you're right in that way.
And deciphering Dutch when you're Afrikaans is piss easy, because of the similarity between the two languages.
Meh. Not that it really matters a greasy fuck, but oh well.

I was under the impression some of the speech patterns - not actual words - were taken from Zulu, although I may be mistaken. In standards 1, 2, 3 and 4 we were told Afrikaans was a combination of Dutch and English, so blame the Apartheid's educational system for my misinformation.

Of course, in geography class they told us that one of South Africa's main exports was oranges to the U.S., which is patently false. The textbook even said it.

Sykotik · Post by **Sykotik** » Sun Sep 26, 2004 8:19 pm

Retlaw83 wrote:I was under the impression some of the speech patterns - not actual words - were taken from Zulu, although I may be mistaken. In standards 1, 2, 3 and 4 we were told Afrikaans was a combination of Dutch and English, so blame the Apartheid's educational system for my misinformation.

Of course, in geography class they told us that one of South Africa's main exports was oranges to the U.S., which is patently false. The textbook even said it.

Gotta love that old propaganda machine, uh?